Anti-Positivism

I'm sick as a bug and am not at work today.

Also, a bit of news: I've apparently been hired at another club however I've not yet gotten a phone call to let me know that I've been hired. The new one is located amongst a big neighborhood and has a lot of regulars, whereas my current club is located away from housing and has a heavy out-of-town customer base. It'll be an interesting switch (if they ever call me).

Now on to my promised poker story: The Little Gay Pooper Poker

The Little Gay Pooper Poker is a little gay man who came in one day last December, right around Christmas. He stands about 5 feet tall and has a little brown hat, and shnazzy brown dress shoes, and freely admits that he loves men. Being the little gay man that he is, he was very charismatic and friendly toward me at the bar, showering me in witty little compliments while looking up to me (literally). He is little. He is gay. And I did not feel threatened.

When it was my turn to go on stage, Little Gay Pooper Poker took the seat directly front-center, beaming up at me with his proud little gay smile. Nothing was out of the ordinary. I started my dancing.

Toward the end of a fairly normal stage run I did my usual ass-jiggle on my hands and knees, doggy-style, with my asshole in the air, which the little gay man then poked-- Wait, WTF. His finger had tried to rape my ass, couldn't enter and so instead pushed me forward resulting in my face to the floor.

**SPECIAL BREAKING NEWS**
Unless you're accustomed to anal every night, you really can't just poke someone's rectum and expect your finger to go inside. It doesn't work that way; it's not a vag. Also: not everyone is accustomed to anal play like his friends evidently were. [Returning to the regular program]

In under a second I had angrily spun around and slapped his hand away, screaming into his face, "WHAT THE FUCK? WHY THE HELL DID YOU THINK YOU COULD DO THAT?"

The crowded club fell dead silent, all eyes at the stage.

"I'M NOT YOUR FUCKING PLAYTHING AND YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO FINGER-RAPE US. WE'RE NOT YOUR SEX TOYS! I'M NOT PUTTING UP WITH THIS SHIT AND YOU'RE SO FUCKING OUT OF HERE."

The bouncers at the other end of the club were alerted something was going down but - and here's the (little, gay) surprise - the little gay man had run his little gay ass out the club before anyone could catch him.

I don't know that I've ever been that pissed off at anyone before. I actively stood by the door waiting to see if he'd try to sneak back in, then met a couple who came in and said they were across the street at a restaurant when a little man went rushing in... Customers told me the little gay man was hiding there the rest of the evening, afraid to be seen outside by the bouncers.

Friends later told me it was obvious he'd try to do this, seeing as he has a fondness for the butthole.

Awfulness: 10/10
Douchiness: 5/10